My parents raised 7 kids. My mom and dad loved Christmas and despite the financial challenges of buying presents for all those kids, we always had a big Christmas. They saved all year and shopped wisely to make this happen. Although the Christmas Season was always action packed, looking back, I realize that just a few things stand out. I remember that my dad always put up the tree and let us kids decorate it - now that I am a parent, I realize he waited until we went to bed that night to redistribute the ornaments so the tree wasn't so "bottom heavy." My mom loved music and always sang in or led the church choir cantata the Sunday before Christmas. My mom also made pumpkin bread and cookies that my dad carried to the neighbors and people in our church community who needed an added smile at Christmas. I remember reading the Christmas story from Luke 2 every Christmas Eve, and the kids in our family acting out the Nativity Scene in home made costumes while my dad read it (one year one of my brothers was a dog because he was conviced that was an oversight in the New Testament). We frosted cookies for Santa, he managed to take a bite of each, and he left a boot print on the hearth every year. As we kids got older and more skeptical, we tried to find that mystical boot, but never did. So what is really important this Christmas? What will your kids remember? It's really the feelings, and not the things that will make the memories. With the pace at which our world runs, a stress-free Holiday may be the best gift of all. Here are five ways to simplify:
1. keep the calendar simple
There is so much going on - church events, cultural events, parades, school performances, family gatherings, etc. Be sure that you are choosing age appropriate activities that will mean the most to your children, now. If you have a 2 year-old, it is likely they would enjoy an interactive Santa's village more than sitting through a 2 hour performance of the Nutcracker. Don't rush them - there is time for all of that. Think about what would mean the most to them now and try to limit your calendar to 1 activity per weekend. Running from place to place is stressfull for both young children and older children. Keep it special and positive by keeping it simple.
2. find one way to serve as a family
During the Holidays, there are many ways to serve. Choose a way to serve that is meaningful to the age of your children. My step-daughter, Brittany, recently took her 6 year-old daughter, Saylor, and her 4 year-old son, Jack, to a church event where they packaged healthy meals for Feeding Children Everywhere. This was GREAT for their age, they were moving around, it was a concept they understood (food for kids), and time well spent together. Plug into a way to serve together this Christmas.
3. set a family standard of fewer gifts that are more meaningful
I am seeing a trend, lately, where young parents are giving much smarter. I saw a recent post that shared, "3 gifts was good enough for a King...so it is for my child." I love that. It takes discipline to hold back. Looking back, my husband and I always considered each child and wanted to "balance it out" so each child felt equally loved. Here is what we forgot was also going to be rolling in - gifts from grandparents, gifts from their older siblings, gifts from special family friends, etc. Being a blended family, some of our kids received great gifts from 4 sets of grandparents in addition to what Santa brought. They were swimming in gifts, so much so that not all of them could be treasured or enjoyed. Consider the big picture. Let them focus. Open one gift at a time and if they want to play with it for a while, let them. Choose gifts that will support time together and don't rush the moments.
4. weave in memories they can count on every year
Keep it to a list of things you can count on one hand, but be consistent in a few meaningful traditions. My kids can count on the following things: the Nutcracker ballet, the music, frosting gingerbread cookies on Christmas Eve, reading the Christmas story, putting the candy canes on the tree, running the movie A Christmas Story all morning on Christmas Day. Other great opportunities come and go, but these we do consistently every year. Pick just enough to be consistent, but don't be so overbooked with traditions that there is no time left to enjoy something new and different every year like the symphony or a performance of A Christmas Carol.
5. give them a "why" for Celebrating this Season
Being a Christian, it is very important to me that my children, even though they are grown, know why we celebrate Jesus' miraculous birth this Season. Your reasons may be different. Perhaps you are celebrating family or opportunities to serve. Christmas is both a secular and a nonsecular Holiday. The great thing about that is that it unifies our nation once a year with a focus on showing love for others. It lifts our communities to step out of our self-centered comfort zones and to collectively join hands in an effort to bring joy to others.
One of my favorite song writers is Jackson Browne. He wrote a great song, "The Rebel Jesus." Sometimes we forget that Jesus was indeed a rebel, calling people away from being so caught up in metering their righteousness and worth by what they were doing that made them better than their neighbor. Instead He turned their focus on others, bringing people together to care for and truly love one another. These lyrics help keep me centered during this beautiful Season, and keep me focused on what's important. My favorite line comes at the end: "In this life of hardship and of earthly toil, there's a need for anything that frees us. So I bid you pleasure and I bid you cheer from a heathen and a pagan on the side of the Rebel, Jesus."
"The Rebel Jesus"
The streets are filled with laughter and light
And the music of the season
And the merchants' windows are all bright
With the faces of the children
And the families hurrying to their homes
As the sky darkens and freezes
Will be gathering around the hearths and tables
Giving thanks for all God's graces
And the birth of the rebel Jesus
They call him by the "Prince of Peace"
And they call him by "The Saviour"
And they pray to him upon the sea
And in every bold endeavor
As they fill his churches with their pride and gold
And their faith in him increases
But they've turned the nature that I worshipped in
From a temple to a robber's den
In the words of the rebel Jesus
We guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions
And once a year when Christmas comes
We give to our relations
And perhaps we give a little to the poor
If the generosity should seize us
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why there are poor
They get the same as the rebel Jesus
But pardon me if I have seemed
To take the tone of judgement
For I've no wish to come between
This day and your enjoyment
In this life of hardship and of earthly toil
We have need for anything that frees us
So I bid you pleasure and I bid you cheer
From a heathen and a pagan
On the side of the rebel Jesus.