I know this lady! In fact, she is my sister, Robin Betts. This easy smile makes her appear as if she hasn't a care in the world, but in reality, she has faced the challenges many of us face such as financial challenges, major and chronic health issues of an immediate family member, addiction and ensuing recovery efforts of a loved one, and a need to fully re-invent herself in order to make a better place for her and her family in the world. So how did she do it?
Robin is Assistant Vice President, Quality and Patient Safety of Intermountain Healthcare System. She went from RN to MBA through years of night school and true grit while working full time and raising three great sons. I will be honest, growing up with Robin was not always easy - so stubborn and determined and never wanted to stand down or lose an argument. However, being her little sister as an adult is fantastic. She is a perpetual source of strength, an example of survivorship, and an all out fun friend!
One thing I have observed about Robin over the years is that she has always "...kept herself on the list." Even when she was working full time as an IT project manager while going to night school to get her MBA in tandem with juggling a teenager, a pre-med student, a dreamer, a husband, and a puppy she managed to keep herself, her health, and her sanity at the top of her list. Over the years, I have decided this is Robin's secret sauce...she puts herself first so that she has the energy, perspective, and optimism to reach the next level and to support all her boys in doing the same. Here are the five things I have observed Robin do over the years to ensure she has the strength to do it all:
1. stay active
Robin was always a super active mom when her boys were young: riding bikes, playing ball, hiking, climbing, running, etc. You name it, she kept up with them! As her boys gained independence, so did Robin. Living in Salt Lake City, she has a 4 season plan that mixes walking, racquet ball, and P90X. She also recommends the 7 Minute Workout app for iPhone or Android. Think you don't have time? 7 minutes a day over a month is 3 hours! Start with what you can manage, and build up to more over time. You can do it!
2. eat smart
Yes, this is true. We are always focused on the food we are preparing for others, so what about us? When we try to revolutionize our eating habits, we often take drastic measures, cutting out entire food groups, things we enjoy, and setting ourselves up for failure. You can simplify this effort by doing 3 simple things: eat fresh, eat in modertion, love what you eat. We could talk all day on this topic, but getting away from processed foods, cooking at home, and using fresh ingredients are all at the forefront of long-term success. A book I love on this topic isFrench Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano. This is a great read and includes great exercises for all of use to change our culture around food.
3. serve others simply
Sounds overwhelming but doesn't have to be. An overall outlook in life of finding ways to help others goes a long way. Your efforts do not need to be Herculean to impact yourself and others. Start with your immediate sphere of influence: your family, your coworkers, the people you encounter the most in the community. If you have time for a big project then great! If you do not, it is an amazing service to others to simplybe kind. In today's world, where we expected to be accessible and online all the time, there is a tendency to celebrate the virtual or tangible "talk to the hand" culture. A kind word, a look in the eye, taking a step back and adding two minutes to the conversation to really understand where someone is coming from can truly make a difference. It empowers and bolsters the recipient of your generosity, and it enriches you and expands your world view to understand another's perspective, challenges, and their special brand of strength they muster to manage their circumstances.
4. enjoy your surroundings
Though our adult lives have been on very different trajectories, Robin and I share something in common - our families have lived in a LOT of different places! I have observed Robin always enjoying her surroundings by going to parks, festivals, and the "best of" whatever her current community has to offer. Why is this important? If you learn to love your community, it will be a source of strength and improve your outlook on a daily basis!
5. guard your down time
One of the best tips I received from Robin is to "clean your house on Friday night." "Clean your house" is not just house cleaning, but includes anything pressing such as an unpleasant errand, weekend homework assignments, work projects, virtually ANYTHING that will WEIGH DOWN YOUR WEEKEND. Two days of down time for most of us is GOLDEN! Push yourself Monday through Friday so you can truly refuel over the weekend.
Hang in there! Just do the little things: a 7 minute workout, a meal at home, a kind word, a walk in the park, an "agenda-free" morning. This will go along way to help you "put yourself back on the list" to ensure you have the energy, confidence, and perspective to be the most, do the most, and see the most amazing things in life!
I would love to hear how you stay strong! Email me at dfletcher.randf@yahoo.com and tell me your story.